Anger: Part Two
Did you know that there are different types of anger? Anger comes in many forms and can be shaped by what is triggering it or what is going on beneath the surface of the anger.
Different types of anger:
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How it shows up: Indirect and is often hidden or suppressed.
Cause: Often from feeling powerless or afraid to express their needs openly.
Strategy to manage:
Safely express your feelings before they fester
Journaling can help you safely express your feelings before they worsen.
Set boundaries: learn to say no or ask for what you need calmly
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How it shows up:: Loud, intense and can be violent.
Cause: Feeling threatened, disrespected or out of control.
Strategy to manage:
Take a time-out: step away from the situation to be able to calm down.
Use deep breathing or grounding techniques to calm the nervous system.
Seek therapy or anger management if it is detrimental to your life or others.
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How it shows up: Indirect or subtle
Cause: Conflict avoidance, resentment, learned behaviour
Strategy to manage:
Increase your self-awareness, ask yourself the questions, what am I really upset about?
Address the issue directly: Calmly talk about it rather than acting out.
Have small honest conversations rather than suffering in silence.
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How it shows up:: Persistent irritation or resentment over time.
Cause: Unresolved trauma, long-standing injustice
Strategy to manage:
Practice forgiveness (for others or for yourself) to release any long term resentment.
Reframe your thoughts: Shift from “why is this happening to me?” to “what can I learn from this”.
Get support: Therapy can help you process unresolved pain.
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How it shows up: Sudden, intense outbursts, can be disproportionate
Cause: Poor impulse control repressed emotions boiling over
Strategy to manage:
Recognise the early warning signs: tension in your body, racing thoughts, tight chest.
Use movement to dispel: Go for a walk or run to release the energy safely.
Have some go-to techniques to help calm and soothe yourself.
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How it shows up: Quick reaction to perceived criticism or attack
Cause: Insecurity, shame, low-self esteem
Strategy to manage:
Pause before reacting and ask yourself “Is this really a personal attack?”
Build your self-esteem: affirm your strengths to reduce your reactivity.
Actively listen to the other person, sometimes they may offer useful feedback.
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How it shows up: Can be constructive or destructive depending on actions.
Cause: Violation of values, witnessing unfair treatment.
Strategy to manage:
Channel it into action: volunteer, advocate, create the change.
Avoid burnout: balance any activism with rest and self-care.
It takes practice, however seeing a therapist and learning strategies and coping techniques can help. Over time, you can regain control over your emotions and thoughts. Remember to always be kind to yourself. We are all a work in progress.
