The Cost of always putting yourself last.

If you have ever been on a plane, one of the first things that the flight attendants do, is the safety demonstration.  One part of that is very relevant for life that is not up in the air:  put the oxygen mask on yourself before anyone else! The reasoning behind this is that if you don’t have any oxygen, how will you help anybody else?

Are you the person on who your friends would describe as reliable? Are you the one that checks in, shows up and keep things running? Are you the person that will remember birthdays and get the card? 

Some people find this concept acceptable in theory, but in real life, they are unable to do it. Consistently putting yourself last can erode your emotional and mental health.

So why does this happen? It often stems from deep-seated beliefs, such as:

• Other people’s needs are more important than mine.

• If I take care of my needs first, I am being selfish.

• What will other people think if I put myself first?

• If I don’t help, I will be letting people down.

• My needs can wait. They are not as important.

When you always put yourself last, two things can happen:

• You are teaching people that your needs are not important.

• You start believing that yourself.

So here is the truth: putting yourself first doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you resilient. If you are constantly running on empty, you may feel overwhelmed and tired.  

You may be asking yourself: how do I start to take care of myself first? This isn’t about you becoming an entirely different person – it is about you including yourself in the care that you give so freely to other people.

You are allowed to matter. No time like the present to start!